This post enlists simple ways to cultivate compassion as a virtue. These are some of the most effective techniques which have been tried and tested by many individuals over many years.

Before we begin describing the various techniques, let us first ascertain why we need to develop compassion anyway. Being compassionate can open many rare doors for us in all spheres of life. It can help create stronger bonds with the people we love and care about. It can help mend broken relationships and undo past mistakes. Developing compassion as a virtue can provide us with a whole new perspective, thereby allowing us to focus on what’s really important in any given situation instead of fixating on trivial issues.

In terms of our professional lives, it can help us become much better leaders, enabling us to inspire trust, confidence and goodwill amongst our team members. When we look at our colleagues in a compassionate manner, it automatically helps us get rid of any uncalled for misunderstandings. Behaving compassionately towards the needs as well as the problems of our subordinates brings an unprecedented level of synergy to the table. Conversely, understanding the actual cause behind our superior’s sudden outburst can take us a long way in maintaining good mental health and working efficiently.

Cultivating compassion as a virtue pushes us to do good for the society without expecting anything in return. This in turn helps generate good karma over time, which has it’s own stream of unending benefits. Overall, becoming more compassionate makes us understand and actually feel what it means to be human in the first place.

Great! Let us now move on to describe the various ways to cultivate compassion as a virtue.

Get rid of the judgements

This is the first way to cultivate compassion as a virtue. We all have a tendency to make assumptions and create judgements about other people. Many of us don’t even bother to look at the big picture, let alone give the person the benefit of doubt. This leads to distorted interpretations of the truth followed by unnecessary conflicts and arguments. Interestingly, compassion is not just about actions. Nurturing compassionate thoughts is just as important as indulging in compassionate deeds. Just because people can’t see our thoughts, does not mean they don’t make a difference.

The easiest way to cultivate compassion is to rid your mind of thoughts that tend to lead you away from it. Also, refrain from participating in activities that have the potential  to tarnish one’s image. Avoiding unnecessary gossip and grapevine will take you a long way in this regard. Every time you find yourself forming assumptions and judgements based on hear-say, stop yourself right there. Tell yourself, “I will not form an opinion unless I know the facts”. 

Many a time, it so happens that we end up passing judgements for absolutely no reason at all. In our heads, we are being playful. The entire scenario means nothing to us, and we tend to think it will mean nothing to others as well. We think it to be harmless, when in actuality, our baseless stories can very well ruin someone’s life. We just fail to visualize the consequences of our seemingly fun and non-hurtful words and actions.

On most occasions, we tend to share rumors that have absolutely nothing to do with us. It could be about a colleague’s broken marriage or an acquaintance’s huge credit card debt. If it doesn’t concern us, it shouldn’t be on our minds to begin with. But this is easier said than done. Over the years, our brains have been conditioned to form quick judgements based on thin circumstantial incidents that later on so easily get transformed into concrete facts in our memories. This significantly affects our behavior towards the individual in question. However, if we were to pause, look back and search for solid evidence supporting our opinions, we wouldn’t find any.

For ex. Let’s say you get to hear from one of your “trusted sources” that a colleague of yours is going through a difficult separation from his spouse. The very first thing to understand in this situation is that you don’t have all the facts. The rumor may or may not be true, and there’s no way to be completely sure unless you go about confronting the person. Second, even if it were true, it just doesn’t concern you. As long as it isn’t affecting you, it’s best to steer clear of the entire situation. Third, if you cannot help him, the least you can do is to not add to his misery any further. Yes? Nobody wants his personal life to be discussed like cheap gossip. Always remember that.

Be a little more understanding 

This is the second way to cultivate compassion as a virtue. Being understanding works in conjunction with getting rid of judgmental thoughts. Both these practices go hand in hand and tend to compliment each other when implemented simultaneously. 

It is important to try and understand the actual cause behind one’s actions before jumping to negative conclusions. If you think a person has wronged you in some way, it is always better to give him or her the benefit of doubt. Maybe he made a genuine mistake. Maybe she did not mean to hurt you but the situation was beyond her control. May be those kids weren’t trying to break your window. It’s very easy to see someone’s actions in bad light and inexplicably challenging to actually take the effort to get to know the complete story. But it is achievable. And with consistent practice, you can undoubtedly produce noteworthy results.

An important stepping stone towards becoming more understanding is to become a great listener first. We’ve all heard the saying “listen to understand and not respond”. This is remarkable advice for anyone who wishes to cultivate compassion as a virtue. Most of us focus on the response aspect of our daily conversations instead of trying to comprehend the most accurate meaning and intent behind the other person’s words. One thing leads to the other, and very soon we find ourselves stuck in an illogical debate on some random topic which holds zero significance in either of our lives. 

For avoiding such unhealthy arguments, it is always beneficial to focus on improving our listening skills before we direct our effort towards coming up with a clever reply to counter what the other person is saying. May be there is some subtle value to be found in the words we’re hearing. Try to absorb the hidden sense behind the same, and only after you have fully understood the intention of the individual standing in front of you should you speak to respond in a kind and compassionate manner. We know it sounds far-fetched and a bit too ideal. But it works. So the next time you get stuck in a heated discussion, immediately change your outlook towards the entire situation. If you think the other person isn’t getting your point, rest assured that he or she is probably thinking the same thing about you. Food for thought!

Striving to become more understanding involves the cultivation of other virtues like empathy, mutual respect and universal brotherhood as well. But not to worry. All these virtues tend to flow together with compassion, and the truth is, development of any one of them cannot be considered as complete without the development of others. In brief, empathy refers to the practice of visualizing yourself in someone else’s shoes in order to understand their pain and suffering. Mutual respect, as the name suggests, is all about respecting the other person irrespective of his or her beliefs, traditions, religion, caste, creed, color, gender, etc. It works on an individual level. On the flip side, universal brotherhood refers to the absence of discrimination and disparity based on cultural, religious, or communal differences. It is very much similar to mutual respect, but works on a global level.

In order to be more understanding towards others, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do I know the complete story as to what actually happened?
2. Is there something that I missed to see in the big picture?
3. Was it a deliberate misdeed or a genuine mistake?
4. Is there a way to resolve the situation peacefully?
5. What would I have done if I were in their shoes?

Asking the aforementioned questions before reacting in any given circumstance will allow you to hold the higher ground. It will make you significantly more understanding and empathetic as a human being. Not to forget, we all make mistakes at some point in our lives, many of which are identical to the ones we often chastise and criticize others for. Hypocrisy is one of the worst traits we can nurture, and it must be fought off and eliminated at the earliest. We all grow at our own pace. And we all deserve a chance to redeem ourselves.

Practice periodic tithing and charity

This is the third way to cultivate compassion as a virtue. Indulging in charitable acts tends to make us feel good about ourselves. When we do selfless deeds for others, it makes us feel like an important member of the society. In addition to this, it also gives us a sense of purpose in life. All these experiences make it very easy to get into the habit of tithing on a regular basis. The actual trick lies in pushing ourselves to begin with and take the first step towards the same.

Tithing refers to the act of donating one-tenth of your income for a noble cause. However, you don’t actually have to adhere to the aforementioned amount when you’re just starting with this practice. You can very well begin with just 2 percent of your net income if that’s what you’re comfortable with. The idea is to get accustomed to practicing charity so much so that it becomes a way of life. Once this happens, you will have attained a whole new level of compassion as part of your natural persona.

A lot of us tend to think that we will donate freely once we amass a great amount of wealth. However, it has been witnessed time and again that this strategy never really works. This is because by the time you’ll succeed in collecting a fortune for yourself, you will have developed the mentality of a habitual hoarder instead of a giver. And this one little detail will transform into a huge obstacle in your path to cultivating compassion as a virtue.

Now you must be thinking – even if one was to become a habitual hoarder, what would be so wrong about that? At first glance, maybe nothing. But on taking a closer look, you would realize that this isn’t how you would actually want to live your entire life. Eventually, you would start to feel hollow and incomplete. True happiness would become a distant dream. And most importantly, you would be working against the law of karma, thereby unknowingly closing doors to rare opportunities and entitlements.

Affirmations

This is the fourth way to cultivate compassion as a virtue. Affirmations serve as a powerful tool to develop good habits in a short span of time. The interesting thing about affirmations is that you can create your own simple and easy to remember phrases for any of the topics you fancy. Plus, you can recite them whenever you want, wherever you want.

For ex. You can make it a common practice to affirm the following phrase while going about your daily chores: “I am a compassionate human being. I am filled with love and peace.” Use this phrase to bring about a massive shift in how you feel about other people. In a matter of days, you’ll find yourself to be a much more compassionate individual than ever before. The only catch here is consistency.

You can create your own affirmations or refer to the ones we’ve mentioned below for cultivating virtues like empathy, mutual respect, and universal brotherhood as well.

“I am an empathetic person who understands other people’s feelings like my own.”

“Respect is everyone’s basic right. It is just as important to others as it is to me. I understand this fully and make sure that I’m humble and deferential in the manner I act and behave with those around me.”

“I love people from all cultures, religions, and communities. I am fair and just in my conduct with others irrespective of their color, caste, and gender. I believe universal brotherhood is the only way to ensure all-encompassing prosperity and abundance.”

Practice Practice Practice!

This is the fifth and the most important way to cultivate compassion as a virtue. Practice. Practice. Practice. As much as you can. Even if you were to pick any one of the above mentioned pointers and practice it regularly, you would end up making a big difference in the lives of others as well as your own. Your relationships would improve dramatically. You would unlock hidden doors to success. And once you will have experienced how good it feels, you would be compelled to move onto the next technique, and the next, and the next.

Conclusion

You don’t need to learn sophisticated methods in order to master compassion as a virtue. It is in our nature to care for each other as a united species. This is why every time we perform a selfless deed for someone, it makes us feel good about ourselves. Our conscience is driven by this very basic principle. Ergo, practicing simple exercises on a daily basis can greatly help us become much more loving and caring human beings than before. Share this article if you think there’s someone in your circle of impact who can benefit from reading this.

Resources

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Finis – The End