This article enlists some of the most effective ways to build tolerance in life that can significantly improve how we navigate through and deal with everyday challenges – both social and otherwise. Before we begin, let us first talk about what exactly do we mean by the term “tolerance” and why it is important. 

In layman’s words, being tolerant simply refers to one’s ability to accept and be at peace with any given situation, or truth. It is about being in control of your emotions, and not letting external factors guide how you feel and behave. It is also about understanding that not everything in life will go according to plan, and more often than not, one will have to improvise in order to keep moving forward. In terms of people and relationships, tolerance is the act of accepting as well as respecting others for who they are.

Now that the basic definition is out of the way, let us describe why it is crucial to build tolerance in life. First and foremost, it significantly boosts our mental health. Second, it improves the quality of our relationships – both personal and professional. Third, it enables us to cope with failure much more conveniently and makes us immune to depression and unnecessary emotional outbursts. The list does not end here. There are many direct and indirect benefits to developing this magnificent trait. Let us now discuss about the various ways to achieve the same.

Introspect upon thine actions 

This is the first step to build tolerance in life. We all end up behaving in a hurtful manner every now and then. Sometimes we do it intentionally, in order to get back at the other person, but mostly it happens out of sheer ignorance and insensitivity. Considering the fact that not all of us are taught to be aware of our actions since childhood, it is only understandable that many of us lack the tendency to introspect upon whether or not we were hurtful in any given situation.

One of the easiest measures that we can take to work our way around this is to simply start becoming more and more aware of how we make others feel during our daily interactions, especially those who are close to us. Do we react aggressively when they do or say something we don’t like? When they tell us about their problems, do we console them gently or act in a condescending manner? Are we patient in our ways, or do we tend to get irritated and annoyed at the slightest provocation? How calm and composed do we remain in the face of misery?

Once you start asking yourself these basic questions about your behavior, you will come to realise the various points of improvement that you need to focus on. That being said, it’s going to be easier said than done because it takes courage and great maturity to acknowledge and accept one’s mistakes. Nevertheless, with time this will become second nature for you. Subsequently, this will lead you to becoming an extraordinarily tolerant individual, since you’ll be better prepared to handle difficult and irritable scenarios.

A little empathy will take you a long way

This is the second step to build tolerance in life. Undoubtedly, empathy is an indication of a strong character. When you become adept at perceiving other people’s pain and suffering as your own, it reflects in the way you behave and interact with them. It is important to realise that each individual has his or her own story to tell. We all have our own battles to fight. Which is why it’s crucial to not judge others because while it maybe difficult for us to comprehend what the others are going through, they maybe struggling to keep their will to stay alive, alive. 

Just like certain traumatic experiences that we faced in the past led to the development of our insecurities in the present, the same is true for others as well. When we start empathizing with our peers and acquaintances, it allows us to look past their seemingly hurtful words and actions and enables us to understand and acknowledge the source of their aggression. This further enables us to work on the root cause instead of focusing on the symptoms. When trying to heal our relationships, this is perhaps the best approach that we can take in order to produce noteworthy results.

Cultivating empathy as a virtue can help us become tolerant and skilled at handling challenging situations that we face on a daily basis. When we spend a lot of time with the same person, it is often observed that the relationship goes somewhat sour with time. This can happen for a number of causes, one of them being our tendency to keep grudges that we develop for the silliest of reasons. We may not express our displeasure over things we don’t like right away, but the emotion surely tends to pile up quite rapidly. Next, before we even realise, our suppressed rage begins to manifest in our words and actions, and the situation only worsens from there on.

Contrary to the aforementioned scenario, if we were to work on becoming an empathetic human being, we would naturally become resistant to trivial issues and contradictions. We would be able to understand our loved one’s point of view just like our own. And to make any relationship actually thrive and prosper, this one baby step is all we need no matter how complex the conflict maybe. 

The Concept of Willingness 

This is the third step to build tolerance in life. Willingness refers to the idea of owning the responsibility of each and every challenge that we go through. What it essentially means is this: every obstacle, every roadblock, is but an opportunity for us to grow and improve as an individual. Whatever tragedy befalls us, it is us who choose to go through that experience because we know it is only going to make us stronger. This is the basic principle behind the concept of willingness.

For ex. Imagine that you’ve been going through some financial difficulties. You’ve fallen behind on your payments. It’s looking pretty dark out there. Instead of criticizing your fate for your troubles, as a practitioner of willingness, you focus on how you can turn this into a rare opportunity and a valuable lesson for yourself. This could be your chance to hone your money management skills. Since you’ve already experienced what losing everything feels like, you need not be afraid of being in a similar situation anymore. You can now face your fears with great confidence and courage like never before. 

The concept of willingness urges you to make yourself realise that it is you who controls your good and bad experiences and no-one else. If you find yourself to be in overwhelmingly tough circumstances, affirm to yourself: “I choose to go through this challenging experience because I know it will make me a stronger human being. I will not give up no matter how rough the road may get. I will show the world how great I am!”

Meditation – The Ultimate Weapon

This is the fourth step to build tolerance in life. Meditation, as a daily exercise, has countless prominent benefits, one of them being increased levels of patience and tolerance in the practitioner. Meditation allows you to introspect upon your day-to-day actions and interactions with others and enables you to find effective ways to tackle any signs of intolerance that you may have shown in any given situation. It helps you clear your mind and develop a better and all-inclusive perspective wherein you are no longer restricted by your own limited thinking.

The best part about meditation is that you don’t need much to start with. As a beginner, all you have to do is find a quiet corner, assume a comfortable sitting posture – either on the ground or on a chair – with your back straightened up, and focus on the flow of your breath with your eyes closed for a minimum of 10-15 minutes. It’s that simple! Once you get used to this, you will automatically want to move onto more advanced versions because the results you’ll achieve with this easy exercise will be quite marvellous. If you wish to learn more about advanced meditations, you may read our publication titled “5 Easy Meditation Techniques for Beginners”.

Once you start gaining clarity of thought, you’ll be able to better interpret all facets of truth, and respond accordingly. Regular meditation will not only improve the mental and emotional aspect of your being but will also act as a bridge to your spiritual development in the longer run. And this in turn will enable you to work on all the aforementioned pointers with greater ease and convenience. You will also feel calmer and more peaceful as you go about taking care of your daily chores, and will not get provoked as readily by insignificant external factors.

Be curious when you don’t like what you see

This is the fifth step to build tolerance in life. For this, you will have to make an unbreakable vow to yourself, and you will have to adhere to its terms and conditions irrespective of how difficult the situation maybe. From this day forward, every time you find yourself disliking someone for no apparent reason, you’re going to put in the effort and get to know that person before you go about judging him or her. 

As human beings, we carry numerous dispositions and biases which directly affect how we perceive certain scenarios. Unfortunately, most of these biases happen to be counter-productive as well as self-defeating when it comes to creating deep and meaningful relationships with others. Many a time, we fall prey to these poisonous weeds rooted in our subconscious minds and start disliking, or even intensely hating other people even though they have done nothing to make us feel that way. 

The kind of environment one grows in, the kind of teachings one receives from his / her parents, teachers, and mentors since childhood, and the kind of adversities one goes through in life can all contribute to the development of such prejudices. One of the greatest examples of this is the racial discrimination that many people experience simply because they dress a certain way, or speak in a different language, or belong to an allegedly “lower” caste, creed or religion. It is of utmost importance that we consciously remove each and every baseless bias that we’ve been harboring in our minds, and we need to do this as soon as possible.

The most effective method to work your way around this is to confront and challenge your negative feelings about someone you barely even know. It is crucial to reason with yourself, and make yourself understand why you shouldn’t feel the way you do about that person. Next, you need to give him or her the benefit of doubt, and make genuine effort to see that person as an equal human being, deserving of all the love and care that you wish to receive yourself. In short, treat others with respect, especially those who have done nothing to make you behave differently, and never rush to conclusions until you’ve done your proper research.

Conclusion

In order to improve our mental health and overall quality of life, it is imperative to build tolerance in life. To achieve that, we can take different measures, starting from introspecting upon our existing propensities and dispositions, to cultivating empathy as a virtue, to practicing willingness and regular meditation, to gently weeding out decade old biases. One important fact to keep in mind is that big changes take time, and we’re only human. In our quest to build tolerance in life, we may falter every now and then. It’s crucial to forgive ourselves in such scenarios, and continue to focus on the end goal instead of fixating on minor hiccups. Eventually, you will pass with flying colours. Share this article if you think there’s someone in your circle of impact who can benefit from reading this.

Resources

We have added links for purchasing books that we believe you may find useful while applying the above mentioned techniques for building tolerance in life. If you’ll use the provided links for your purchases, we’ll receive a small commission which will help us to continue publishing free quality content for you.

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